Any Way You Want It

Toni English, using her alternate film name Kelly Holland, delivered this assembly-line Penthouse video which spotlights big-busted actresses, but has little of interest. It's one of the 1000 or so scripts written by one Cash Markman, and Exhibit A in why the lion's share of current porn projects don't waste money on hiring a screenwriter.

The five skits are all silly or trite, merely lame set-ups for the designated couple to go through set sexual positions and then finish with a money shot. Generic is the result.

Opener is unusual, at least in American XXX, in providing lots of anal sex right off the bat, never to be repeated. French import Denis Marti gets to shtup Phoenix Marie in her posterior outdoors as she lures him away from a boob tube soccer match to kick the ball outside with her a few seconds before humping. Gimmick of her wearing panties inscribed with favorite soccer team nation's flags displayed on them to get his attention is really stupid.

Other excuses to get the beauties and the studs in sexual coitus include Diana Doll, her character renamed Diana Parker in a truly stunning moment of inspiration by writer Markman, as a security inspector threatening bare-chested hard hat Danny Mountain with several violations, washed away when he services her; a truly silly vignette of infidelity and growing-up pains as a very young Seth Gamble says nasty things to the mistress (video's cover girl Nikki Benz) of his dad (NonSex cameo by show's cameraman Jake Jacobs) before joining her in the shower and "all is forgiven"; horny Julia Ann seducing her husband's house guest Mr. Pete while hubby is slaving away at work; and naturally busty Alexia Rae turning on boss Jay Huntington after hours at the office on a Saturday in a skit that is sub-stag movie in content.

I love short story porn, but these time-killers don't pass muster.