This Is Your Death

Maybe I've watched this on the wrong day. Or possibly the right day. I have the closing credits still on, it's that raw. Just 10 hours ago I contemplated suicide. Not for the first time, but I had reasons. Strong reasons.

I didn't go through with it because of my family. Because of my future. But I've come home low, and obviously didn't tell my wife how close I came. So watching this... quite accidentally, actually. I didn't twig what it was about and how ironic it was until I was some way in.

It's helped. Helped me see that as down as you can get, it's such a final solution. I've always thought I've not gone through with it because the way I'd prefer to do it with a gun. Being English, I can't just walk into a store and buy one. I don't even know how to get one illegally - I guess I'm one of the good guys.

So as someone suicidal, this film totally resonates. Would I go on it? Quite possibly, yes. Not for the money, we're not in trouble. But because it legitimises the act. It makes it less personal, as I'm sure you'd feel a purpose to it. And suicide is about losing your purpose.

I know I'm not at that stage. Hopefully, I never will be. But this film, whilst I wouldn't say "it's saved my life" it's a help. Today of all days.

Thank you to all involved, if any of you ever read this.