Ordinarily I don't find it particularly difficult to come up with the required number of words in order to provide a review, but "Bury the Bride" is special. In fact, I suspect the filmmakers had the same problem when thinking up enough crap to regurgitate into the film cans in order to qualify it as a "movie." Now, I'm probably going to get some things wrong, but I was bored beyond words, blinded by the stupidity and frankly just didn't care. But here goes...
First off, we are introduced to the protagonists-an unlikable group of vapid young women who are celebrating a bridal party at a dirty shack in the desert. Then one girl's boyfriend crashes said party with his buddies. They are all very unpleasant rednecks and it's hard to follow the interminably long conversation they all have, not just because it's dumb, boring and seemingly pointless, but because you are mostly distracted trying to figure out how in the world these people met, why are they together as they seem so completely incompatible, and how is it possible to not realize said totally incompatible, unpleasant, redneck boyfriend is a vampire, as are all his buddies?
Oh yeah, redneck vampires in the Southern California desert.
Look, I'm not going any further exploring the movie, because I don't want to remember any more-I just want to finish this review, warn you stay away, and continue on with my life. But considering the script was written in a week and a half and the film was shot in even less time should be a concern in itself. And honestly, the only interesting side note is that Chas Bono is in it.
There is no redeeming value here. Its rating has been inflated by some questionably high scores. Then again, there's no accounting for taste. And if this kind of hot mess is your taste, then I suggest you stay far away from the Oscars.
