La Maison de Chambres

Years ago, murders occurred in a boarding house. Psychic playboy Jim Royce (director John Wintergate) moves in, and has hot naked chicks surrounding him. No, this is not a porno. Unsurprisingly, the house isn't too keen on this, and soon, bad special effects and more come to terrorize those in the house.

Shot on Video (the first horror movie to be SOV in fact) and released theatrically (yes, a SOV movie came to theaters) in 1982, "Boardinghouse" defies any real proper description. The acting boarders on Amateur Porn levels, the music is a blatant "Halloween" rip off, the gore is unconvincing, the 80's fashion styles are an offense to the eyes, and the plot (so to speak) is a ramshackle of odd events.

That out of the way, the movie is never boring. Yes, it's bad. Yes, it is deficient of any real technical merit. Yet, you can't stop watching it. It's a level of bad that manages to be somewhat enduring in it's ineptitude. The movie moves along, though it never really goes anywhere. Hot chicks are knocked off randomly, without any reason to care about any of them.

In short, to say it's incoherent would be an understatement. It's a movie that defies any real explanation, and is unlike anything I've ever seen before. Whether or not I want to see something like it again I don't know.