I was just stumbling around Direct TV and this movie was starting on Showtime Extreme. I kept it on for whatever reason and soon realized this is one of the greatest good-bad movies I have ever seen.
What starts off as a confusing dinner scene in a luxurious house quickly turns into a laughable collection of mind boggling scenes that will make you spit out your soda and scratch your head at the same time. Most bad movies have no plot, but this one just, well, bvvvvvvvvvvvvp. The movie changes gears faster than Lance Armstrong and keeps the audience guessing, preventing viewers from ever figuring out what is going on! Brilliant.
I guess the movie is supposed to be about some fancy boy womanizer (Giovanni) who kills his father in law and then has to immediately flee on a motorcycle? He bumps into a busty woman along the way and she tags for the awkward ride as they aimlessly drift and later falsely contemplate religion. Let's see, now what to highlight...
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE MAGIC LIMO?! This ominous black stretch limo starts first following Gio through the desert (easily the most obvious tail in history, a HUGE black limo following a lone bike in the middle of of a desert) and finally at one point attempts to run him down in a forest. Sure enough, Gio and his girlfriend climb into a tree and the limo gets confused and drives away! I guess they got the idea from watching monkeys evade predators on National Geographic. The limo continues to follows Gio throughout the entire movie, yet it's purpose is never explained... at all.
Every scene is horribly staged and idiotic. At one point Gio and his girlfriend are riding down a road and the camera pans up to show a small family get out of a van and go into a field. Random. Like clockwork the young boy kicks his ball deliberately into the road, you hear tires chirp, the parents run over scared to find the young boy smiling and fine. Gio of course has the ball, he bounces it once, gives it back to the boy, then GIVES HIM HIS MOTORCYLE HELMET, smiles and drives away. Ummmmm??????????
Later on Gio gets bitten by a snake and is seemingly dead, so his girlfriend drives them to a gas station and tries to rally help. A local toothless gimp simply stares at her and doesn't respond, so she goes for a closer look into the garage. The resident mechanics swarm and corner her by a truck, then start to squeeze out sponges of water onto her chest. I thought they were setting up some sort of molestation, but then a random cop shows up and informs the girlfriend not to worry, that the mechanics thought she was their sister. As everyone leaves, one grease monkey jumps into a tractor tire and another playfully follows suit and they mock wrestle before the shot cuts. After seeing this I slapped myself to ensure I was not dreaming, or in hell.
I could go on for days.
Please try and see this movie, I'm about to go bid for it on ebay.
