"South Beach Academy" is one of the few movies that I am embarrassed to admit having seen. I write these comments not to provide any intellectual critique of the film (for there was literally very little to comment on), but to serve as a warning for any fool just about to go and spend a couple of bucks renting it on video.
Only diehard Corey Feldman fans would ever go near this stinker, and even they are bound to be disappointed. Feldman is a genuinely talented actor with a sharp wit, and one can sense throughout this film that even he is taking it all with a grain of salt. He delivered sensational performances in "Stand By Me" and "The Goonies" (among others), and in a way it is sad to see him in this woeful exploitation movie.
The plot is too simple and idiotic for words, so I will not deal with it here. Indeed, there simply isn't much plot to comment on. Something about a beach and a volleyball game - I couldn't elaborate, because it seemed that I was dropping in and out of a coma while watching the film. The acting from everyone apart from Feldman is wooden (and Feldman is brought down a couple of notches as a result), and the only laughs I got from this show were at the expense of the actors themselves, (if such a term is allowable).
I'm an admirer of the 'bad film' genre, and "South Beach Academy" is certainly a bad film, but its problem is that it tries a little too hard to be a good film. The characters are confused - they don't know whether to act or to ham, and they end up doing a curiously amusing combination of the two.
But let's get one thing straight - the film contains scene after scene of gratuitous nudity, which seems to be its main selling point. The question here is - why bother? Dozens of this type of film have already been produced, and if you're really into that sort of thing, just find a movie on late-night television - there's bound to be one showing soon.
I am angry and frustrated that I lost a couple of valuable hours of my life watching this rubbish. If this review dissuades any potential viewer from renting the video, I shall be a happy man.
