I knew this was going to be bad. I didn't know how bad. It's probably the worst of the THREE NINJAS series (or, as it's spelled to market towards the under-age demographic, 3 NINJAS!), and that's not an easy feat. It starts poorly, and it just goes downhill. Every fight scene is so bad, it's not even explainable. (Is that a word?)
I've seen some bad films in my day but this is one of the worst, ever. I'm not exaggerating. In one fight scene, a kid actor -- who, coincidentally, can't act -- kicks a guy. He bends over with a comical look on his face, as if he's saying "Ouch! That hurt! I wonder why! I better think about it and give this kid the opportunity to do it again in the meantime!", and then the kid hands him a pizza tray (don't ask), punches him again, then kicks him. The guy pushes himself backwards and does a double flip (poor stuntmen -- it's obvious they're using their own force to accomplish the task), then lands on a table.
It's like POWER RANGERS, only performed by kids. In very dangerous situations, mind you. E.g. at the end a bunch of ruthless crooks with guns are chasing the kids and they keep outrunning and punching them.
This is a bad idea to put in kids' minds. "You can beat up grownups with guns -- just throw a few punches!"
Let me tell you what really would have happened.
Crook No. 1 would have whipped out his Uzi and taken down all three kids as they were running down the street like hyperactive morons.
I can't even DESCRIBE the awfulness of this movie. You honestly have to see it for yourself. It's that bad.
It's almost as bad as POD PEOPLE.
And get this: "Rated PG-13 for non-stop ninja action."
Non-stop ninja action. Wow. I guess this movie IS responsible for one thing -- proving that the MPAA can even manage to poke fun at movies. "For non-stop ninja action." I'm still laughing over that one.
-1/5
