I consider myself to be an average movie-goer. Some films may take a few minutes to figure out AFTER you've seen it and those kinds of films are my faves.
"Paranoid" is COMPLETELY devoid of ANY plot of ANY kind. I recently rented this movie for the love of seeing the stunning Jessica Alba. I won't go into detail but just know this: NOTHING gets solved in this movie. It's supposed to be a psychological thriller, so where's the suspense? The intrigue? Or even the PLOT?
Jessica's character is entrapped in a basement for "something" and we NEVER find out what exactly for! There are around 6-7 sub-plots that occur and NOTHING ever gets explained about why they happened! All the characters are completely DEVOID of personality, even the talented Ewen Bremner stalls the movie. Jessica herself is ALWAYS great to look at and it's easy to tell that she is trying her damndest to look like a tortured soul in this mediocre role.
Throughout the entire film, she gives a sour look on her face and never looks back. And to all of you who rented this film because of Jessica's nipple slip, YES, there is one but it is NOT the one in the beginning of the film. Anyway, the other players like Jeanne Tripplehorne, 14-year old Mischa Barton, and Iain Glen (who later starred as the villain in the Tomb Raider flick) really bog down this film. They are SO one-dimensional that you fall asleep as they try to look and act dastardly.
Here's a good example: Iain's character decides to suffocate Jessica's character with a large see-through plastic as she is handcuffed to the bed. Jessica writhes in horror as we see him try to "kill" her. A few seconds later he removes the plastic and says "YEAH! You nearly lost control there, didn't you?" This is another sub-plot that happens and is NEVER explained. AARRGGH!!! And while we're on the subject of disastrous, never-explained subplots, I'll bite the bullet and actually reveal them all right here!
--SUBPLOT #1: Jessica's character loathes her profession and what she's become. This is addressed a few times in the movie but never touched on again.
--SUBPLOT #2: Jessica's character has dual boyfriends. Both are musicians with really sketchy pasts and with really dull plot twists.
--SUBPLOT #3: Jessica's character has a voyeur neighbor who spies on her and gives her gratuitous phone calls. He later becomes integral to the last act of the film but we never find out the who, what, and why of this character. AARRGHH!!
--SUBPLOT #4: In the middle of the film, Iain's character imprisons Jessica for watching a videotape. But a few scenes later, we "find out" that he imprisoned her for something else and we NEVER know why!
--SUBPLOT #5: We find out later in the film that one of Jessica's boyfriend is married (to one of the ladies from "Couplings"). The wife stops by the lodge and sort of brings conflict for a few scenes and then disappears for the rest of the film.
--SUBPLOT #6: What the hell is up with Mischa Barton's character? I can't even begin to describe how useless her character and her own subplot was!
--SUBPLOT #7: Ewen Bremner brings a creepy presence in the film. He does a sort of okay job portraying the straight character. He videotapes everything in the lodge but we never know why!
--SUBPLOT #8: When Jessica first arrives in the lodge, she settles into her room and is being spied on through a sort of "Psycho" peephole. We see this camera trick once or twice and then that's it! We never know who it is or the significance of this peephole.
--SUBPLOT #9: Iain and Jeanne Tripplehorne's characters grill Jessica about her profession. We learn of Jessica's disgust and her lack of control of her life. And then...we never hear about it again.
--SUBPLOT #10: Jessica takes a few pills in the film. Supposedly, this habit leads to her downfall but like the other subplots...never gets mentioned or seen again.
I could go on and on and on with all the B.S. subplots but I think we all know one thing: many subplots DO NOT equal a plot!
In case I haven't mentioned it yet, this film BLOWS! It was a chance to see sexy Jessica strut her stuff and it was a complete waste. To see a more sexy Jessica, go rent "The Sleeping Dictionary". It isn't as bad as "Paranoid" but at least she shines in that film.
Avoid renting this film unless you are a VERY eager Jessica Alba fan. And just in advance: My apologies if you had to endure "Paranoid".
