The Disney folks must be applauded for reviving the live-action movie musical (albeit on television); it wasn't hard to improve on John Huston's gruesome film of ANNIE, but the Disney version actually seemed an improvement on the overrated Broadway show. And it's always fun to see stars not primarily known their for singing and dancing kick up their heels (if you haven't seen Kathy Bates' spectacular turn in ANNIE, rent it now.) So it's disheartening to report that GEPPETTO isn't even in the ballpark. Ostensibly a retelling of the Pinocchio story from his father's point of view, it will probably bore kids and puzzle most adults.
Admirably, Drew Carey as Geppetto displays none of his sitcom or stand-up personae, but hasn't found any persuasive replacement. It doesn't help that the character as written is pretty much a simpering wimp or that his wig appears to be the one originally worn by Patty Duke as the American twin on her old TV series; Carey could be auditioning for a biopic about The Turtles. In fact, the whole production has the look and sound of the kind of expensively cheesy sixties musicals that helped bury the genre: technically slick and impressive without being attractive or appealing. The tone, however, is pure nineties: guilty parents can only find happiness by learning to obey their children.
Hearing just a few bars each of "When You Wish Upon a Star" and "I've Got No Strings" here is enough to illustrate how uninspired Stephen Schwartz's score is. Schwartz seems at fault too for pushing Carey, who has a more than adequate singing voice, beyond his range; he could and should have sounded a lot more comfortable. As a hazily-conceived Blue Fairy, Julia Louis-Dreyfus attempts an unsuccessful homage to Billie Burke in THE WIZARD OF OZ, but also reveals a very pretty soprano behind the affected diction. Poor Usher Raymond gets stuck with the worst song, and though he looks like he could dance up a storm he's barely given the chance. Brent Spiner, with vocal chops to spare, comes off best, but then again he is playing the villain (and gets the best hair, too.)
It would be churlish to complain about Seth Adkins' whiny performance as Pinocchio; nearly all of the child actors have been directed to whine and sulk brattily, the better to manipulate their supplicatory parents. But the sheer awfulness of his costume and makeup is indicative of the production's creative clumsiness. With a grotesquely streaked face and awkward, artificial "puppet" joints, Pinocchio looks less like a little wooden boy than the unfortunate victim of some horrible real-life disease.
