The Television X Factor Volume 1

Phil Barry, successful pornographer riding the coattails of his Numero Uno local star and wife Cathy, dares to satirize the British TV hit "The X Factor", a series later adapted for US television with Simon Cowell again fronting.

For a two-volume porn version made for his Pumpkin Media label and of course the local satellite service Television X, Barry substitutes himself for Cowell as chief judge of talent, making endlessly sarcastic and often humiliating remarks about the schlumps appearing before him and fellow judges Michelle Thorne and a jerk calling himself Chickenman, who are asked to disrobe and also have sex on camera.

It's very sloppy, with Barry occasionally calling the talent by their real names, as when he starts referring to Chickenman as Robert, or when veteran old geezer porn guy Chuck Loads playing Steve is called "Chuck" by Phil.

This is dreary stuff, especially in the endless ridicule on skeletal oldie Loads, who has made a living in the old-age porn (Granny and Grandpa videos) fetish apparently popular in the UK judging by fellow oldster Steve Perry's recent releases) but must suffer the abuse of everyone here. Assuming the audience is brain-dead, many famous Brit Porn stars appear in the guise of amateurs, hardly fooling anyone (e.g., Suzie Best, Cyprus Isles and Emma Butt).

Chief challenge was to identify the lovely hostess cast in the Ryan Seacrest role of chatting with the contestants before and after they face the severe judges. I eventually remembered her as the wonderful brunette beauty Laura Michaels, who starred for the Barrys in a quality fetish production "Laura's Stocking Tops".