Class of '09

Nicole: Make no mistake. I'm a sociopath. God, that sounded evil - let's rewind a little. I grew up all over coastal America. House, after house, after restraining order, everything just kinda blends in. If the divorce rate is 50/50, my mom landed on tails like eight times. So by the time I was 14, right? I moved from seven different houses, and attended six different school districts. After a while, you don't see a point in making friends. The Vitamin C graduation song? Yeah, can't relate. But then one year, all of that almost changed? For the first time ever, I found myself going to a school for two consecutive years, going on three. And then I like... started turning pretty a month into high school, so the "guys hitting on you" social leverage was really awesome. The popular girls would talk to me all the time. And they were just stupid. Like they had always been pretty. Never left out, never alone. And when I think about it... all the thinking I've ever done was when I was alone. I was nice about it, and thought I'd always be nice about it. Finally in one place to build a steady reputation. And then life said, "fuck that!" My piece of shit gamer brother got us evicted for pirating breakbeat mixtapes. It's like, not even good music. Anyway, so Mom was crying packing up the moving boxes, and that's when she told me we were moving out of the state! And I just got settled! I said "fuck you, I'm living with Dad" - he's just a neighborhood down. I put the boxes down, go over, knock on the door and... BOOM, a gunshot! My second Christmas killed himself! I walked in, floor looked like a whole ass video game - just blood, everywhere. And get this, his suicide note was stuck to the fridge with a Cookie Monster magnet. All he wrote on it - "Nicole's fault". I'm Nicole, by the way, hi, what the fuck did I do to him? Maybe I missed the office softball game? Men are so into this revenge suicide thing. But whatever, it doesn't matter, nothing matters... I'm moving... again. City, county, state; all the same fate. But I've always said that while leaving. This time... it's on arrival.