Set-up. Set-up. Sudden jump-scare!
Arbitrary poor character establishment scene.
Set-up. Set-up. Sudden dopey, gimmicky 3D jump-scare!
Boring, cliché plot-exposition scene.
Set-up. Set-up. Cheesy creature effect jump-scare!
Nonsensical filler fluff scene.
Set-up. Set-up. Another laughable 3D jump-scare that looks silly when viewed in 2D!
...that pretty much sums up "Sadako 3D', the 2012 film from director Tsutomu Hanabusa. Essentially an attempt to revive the much-beloved "Ringu" (aka "Ring") franchise in the modern internet age, this stinker is pretty much a dead-on-arrival thriller that is more likely to induce unintentional giggles and an occasional yawn than inspire chills in audiences.
I was actually fairly excited to hear this film was being released. I'm an enormous fan of master-director Hideo Nakata's original film, and I even enjoyed the various sequels, prequels and remakes to an extent. (Though I have sadly thus far been unable to read the original Koji Suzuki novels that inspired those films.) The prospect of a more modern take on the "Ring" mythos was intriguing... and to be honest, I didn't have a problem with the idea of the film being in 3D. Some of the iconography and famous images of the franchise would frankly lend itself well the added depth provided by modern 3D technology.
But alas, it wasn't to be. Director Hanabusa trades in the wonderful sense of pervasive dread that the original film oozed to make room for nonstop, effects-heavy scares that come off as wonky and funny due to the overly-gimmicky nature of the 3D. And it's all made even worse by the fact that... it's kinda hard to find a 3D copy of the film, meaning the obvious obligatory "3D Comin' at ya!" effects look all the cheaper and lazier when viewed in 2D.
The plot is a messy, forgettable affair. And I'm not joking. I watched the film about a year ago, and I couldn't really tell you what happened looking back on it. Something about a video released online that drives people to commit suicide, and an evil plot to resurrect the spirit of the dreaded Sadako. But trying to recollect specifics of the plot... it's just a blur of nonsensical imagery and flat characterizations. The prior films would stick with you. Even after a single viewing, you could vividly recall every major detail of the plot. Every twist of the story. Every single eerie moment. But this film leaves as little impact as the viral videos it seems to be drawing inspiration from. Like every supposedly "big" YouTube clip you've seen... you'll forget it within days once the "next big thing" comes along.
Although to give credit where it is due, there are a couple of stand- out moments. Including a fairly accomplished sequence involving a slew of genuinely disturbing spider-like "Sadakos" in a pretty suspenseful little sequence that makes good use of body-horror imagery. While it didn't contribute much to grand scheme of the film, it was a pretty zany, creepy sequence, and horror-fans who are disturbed by things like the alteration or unnatural changes of the human form should get a kick out of it.
But outside from that and a couple other moments that work, this is otherwise an enormous mess. The constant jumps get predictable to the point you'll be giggling in anticipation, and the plot is a thin excuse for nothing but special effect after special effect. And the fact it appears to have the production values of a low-budget TV-movie doesn't exactly help.
It's odd. I've been wanting to review this for some time now. But I could never quite put together the words to describe it. And I realized that's the big problem for me... there just isn't much to say about it. It's an underwhelming follow-up/light-reboot that adds nothing to the "Ring" franchise, outside of stylistic betrayals of the prior films.
And that's about it.
I'm giving "Sadako 3D" a weak 3 out of 10. It's not the worst horror film ever made. But it's a shocking fall from grace given how good the franchise was in its prime.
