Table for Twelve

Nica Noelle's fine set of features made for Hard Candy Films is generally out of print already (after only a couple of years or so in release), but this winner is worth seeking out. She has balanced a strongly acted play/soap opera with her usual "real sex" vignettes for a satisfying program.

Premise is a country's club night for singles, called Table for Twelve, in which lonely folks of all ages can mingle and even hook up. MILF Tara (ultra-sexy Chilean actress Tara Holiday) brings her shut-in divorcée friend Maggie (Magdalene St. Michaels, perhaps the director's favorite actress) along, and they get to meet buzz cut British stud Daniel (Danny Mountain) and his loquacious senior citizen dad Ronald (British '60s singer Ian Whitcomb, a fun presence in non-sex assignments for Nica).

The soap opera plot might turn off many porn fans, not because there's anything wrong with Nica's writing (sharp dialog) or the acting (consistently fine), but merely because the bias towards wham-bam sex and cynical attitude has become so prevalent. How many so-called reviews of XXX material do you read that constantly cop out with the notion "who cares about the plot?" or "who cares about the characters?", now that the industry (see: award categories) and public (streaming segments rather than whole films) and distributors (every menu slices and dices a video by "pop shots", "cowgirl" and the like) have all abandoned the notion that they can produce "real movies".

I, for one, greatly enjoyed Nica's achievement here. She matches and creates minor conflicts among her set of 11 characters (almost a puzzle to solve: what happened to #12 at the title "table"?), with satisfying resolutions. For example, a non-sex odd couple, best friends Jimi King (a porn crew member with long sideburns given an acting stint this time), finally pledges his love to old pal Mich Masoch (graphic designer of the big-bust/fake red hairdo persuasion).

On the other hand, hardcore performers Alia Starr and Mr. Ken are dangled as a brother/sister act with Alia sort of bro's "wing (wo)man", as he cruises the shindig looking for pussy, ending up stealing a phone number of a pretty girl that was meant for somebody else. Neither of them get down for any porn action this time around.

The principals are busy, however, especially Tara and Danny, each allotted two lengthy sex vignettes (alongside Magdalene as the only cast members whose characters bear their stage names).

Tara has a hot scene with Xander Corvus, who is cast (a bit of a stretch) as Magdalene's son, a friend of Tara's for many years and suddenly her lover. This subplot is left unresolved (probably a function of running time restrictions).

Later Tara hooks up with Danny for the film's satisfying finale. Though the mature actress's routine in bed is awfully similar in both scenes, she didn't bore me since I had only seen Holiday before in SEDUCED BY MOMMY 2, not umpteen times (as is the case with most of the busy stars here).

Before hooking up with Tara, Mountain dallies with young superstar April O'Neil, who bears a slight resemblance to Tara (possibly intentional in the casting) though of different nationality, and is styled very lovely, replete with high heels retained during sex.

Remaining tryst is a Nica specialty, Maggie bedding down shy but beautiful blonde Kelly Surfer, in action very familiar with St. Michaels fans of her lesbian assignments. Only fault here is that Maggie is supposedly strictly hetero (torn up due to divorce) so when initiated to Sapphic love by Surfer (love that name) it is a bit unnerving to watch her prowess at fingering, cunnilingus and tribbing.

As an unusual example of Ensemble Theatrical Porn, TWELVE is unique and represents real quality.