Slay Belles

Slay Belles: it's clever because 'Slay' sounds like 'Sleigh' and 'Belles' sounds like 'Bells'. Unfortunately, that's about as clever as this film gets. It's dumb. It's very dumb. But sadly, it's not dumb fun.

The humour is extremely forced and rarely hits the mark. The cast are enthusiastic enough, but comedy clearly isn't their forté and the script just isn't witty enough despite a potentially amusing premise.

The plot sees Alexi (Kristina Klebe) joining her big-breasted friends, urban explorers Dahlia (Susan Slaughter) and Sadie (Hannah Minx ), on a trip to abandoned theme park Santaland, where they intend to record their latest Adventure Girl web cast. What they don't realise is that they are not alone: the 'Christmas Devil' Krampus is on the prowl for naughty people, making the trespassing girls potential victims. Luckily for them, the real Santa Claus (Barry Bostwick) is also there to help them stay alive.

Director Dan Walker takes a gimmicky approach to his film-making, with novelty graphics and 'stylish' (i.e., annoying) editing, which is bad enough, but add in horrible wobbly camerawork and some really dark night-time scenes, and the result is a film that is not only nowhere near as funny as it could have been, but which is also fairly grating on the nerves. Walker should have compensated with plenty of gore, but barring the death of Sadie's boyfriend Brian (Rich Manley), there's not much splatter to speak of.

The film's pros are as follows: impressive opening credits, one reasonable monster, one gore effect, one passable performance (from Bostwick), two big pairs of boobs (one pair getting a brief airing).

The cons: bad acting, bad camerawork, bad comedy, too many dark scenes, inappropriate use of dubstep music, not enough blood and guts, and no gratuitous shower scene for Sadie.

3.5/10, rounded up to 4 for... well, it's Christmas... I'm feeling generous.