I up picked up this movie because it had a great cast: Bill Cobbs, Raquel Welch, Brian Dennehy, Doug Jones, and Lee Meriwether (and what seemed to be a fleeting image of James Garner on a video screen). Unfortunately the bulk of the acting rests on the feeble shoulders of young thespian lightweights you're not likely to hear about anytime soon. Moody Actor #1 plays Joey, a spoiled rich kid who stands to inherit millions from his grandma's estate. The story sets about establishing that he's got "issues", and the young lawyers surrounding him are unprofessional schmucks who are unnecessarily cagey about the terms or "gifts" he has to fulfill in a year (a YEAR!) in order to receive that money. Supposedly Joey is a selfish ass but within the first 15 minutes of the movie he's already redesigning a memorial for his grandma and giving food to the homeless. So what was the jerky behavior that convinced everyone Joey was a pampered brat who needed to spend a year (a YEAR!) to prove his worth?
Moody Actor #2 plays one of the lawyers. He has a beautiful wife and daughter and laments that he can't spend more time with them because he has to babysit Joey and make sure he fulfills his "gifts". Well, dude, why don't you? Whenever his wife asks him to spend more time with his family he's not with Joey, he's at his office, pounding away on a keyboard and having absolutely no paperwork on his desk (gotta love the digital age).
Ditzy Actress plays another lawyer. She wears tiny skirts and heels so high they keep sinking into the lawn every time she crosses it to bring Joey a snack. The inevitability of her ending up with Joey is woefully obvious, and apparently her only purpose in the movie as you never really see her doing any legal work. Rounding out this flaccid cast are the Tolken Black Cast Member, John Davidson's son (looks like him, anyway), and Random White Guys.
I could go on but look, the point is, don't see this movie. Raquel Welch has 5 minutes of screen time, as does Cobbs, Dennehy, Meriwether and Jones. Oh, Doug Jones... I specifically picked up this title because in a recent interview he talked about how much fun it was for him to not have to wear a creature suit in a movie, yet even someone of his caliber is barely on screen. If the pitch for this film was "Let's have a weak story and hire a great cast that we don't use in favor of millennials you've never heard of", this is the result. Save yourself the frustration and rewatch "Hellboy 2".
