Carne y arena

I was a bit apprehensive to attend 'Carne y Arena', but in the end my curiosity took over. And I am yet unsure whether I am happy with this choice. That does not mean I was disappointed. On the contrary, I would say. I felt and somehow still feel overwhelmed. 'Carne y Arena' feels as different from a movie as a pixar movie feels from a charcoal drawing.

I read about audiences ducking bullets that were fired onscreen in the very first movies that were made. Ridiculous as that may sound to our ears in this day and age, I myself have a better understanding now. When I would have my hundredth VR-experience, I would know that being able to see in three dimensions would not mean that I am actually dealing with reality. Until yesterday I did not have that experience. Not ever. So I physically reacted as if what I saw was real, as if I was truly ambushed by a border patrol. And honestly, I have never felt such acute anxiety. I had a stomach ache that could have made me vomit. And it lasted until after it was done.

Do I have a better understanding now what it means tot be an immigrant? Perhaps yes, maybe no. But I do feel I have a better understanding of the horrors they are willing to undergo to make that journey. I will not pretend to know what it feels to be yelled at at gunpoint, but 'Carne y Arena' goes far out of its way to get as close as possible. And it left me lost for words.