Pretty Smart is like a collision between two movies. I'll call the first one, the one I believe we were intended to see, Pretty Smart. The second one, that fits so badly with the first I conclude it must have been shoehorned in by producers eyeing sleaze value, I'll call Pretty Awful.
Pretty Smart is about two teenage girls, sisters, who are sent to a boarding school in Greece. They are completely different, and are immediately incorporated into the two ruling cliques that fit them the best: the preens, for the perfect, snide, overachieving one and the "subs" for the punk girl.
At first the punk girl tries to get herself thrown out, but ends up realising she has more in common with her fellow subs, and perhaps even her sister, than she realised.
So far, so good, for a positive, enjoyable movie aimed at teen girls, which is buoyed by the energy and freshness not only of Patricia Arquette, who makes her debut appearance in a supporting role, but also Tricia Leigh Fisher (that rhymes), who plays the lead role.
But wait! Here comes Pretty Awful.
Pretty Awful is a movie about a sleazy principal at the Greek school who supposedly has cameras hidden all over the school so that he can watch and record them undressing, showering, having pillow fights in their underwear (is there any other way to have them?), and in one bizarre sequence, pretending to punch each other with boxing gloves while also in their underwear.
It is not remotely believable, even for one second, that the low rent sleaze this principal watches in his office could come from anywhere other than the bargain bin of an adult entertainment store. It doesn't help when some of this footage, while supposedly being broadcast live from the students' rooms, is shown to us multiple times. That's right: the same footage is repeated, the producers apparently hoping we wouldn't notice, or wouldn't care.
The first movie brings fresh, young talent.
The second movie brings the dregs of softcore film circa 1987.
That the principal is also a drug dealer hardly seems to matter; it's barely explained, I guess so that the forced, ridiculous happy ending won't require much explanation either. That's the inevitable moment where the two movies meet and the first can't wait to shake off the stench of the latter, which is why we get an extended ending dealing with both scenarios.
I knew which one I preferred, but by trying to have it both ways you don't end up with two movies for the price of one; instead you get about a half of a good movie, and maybe one fifth of a terrible one.
