Rifftrax Review: 9 out of 10: Bad, slow films where nothing happens have stumped the boys before. (The Beast of Yucca Flats, Robot Monster) but they really bring their A-game here. The riffing is on point and upbeat. They really seem to be enjoying themselves. They perform a miracle and make Terror at Tenkiller actually watchable.
Terror at Tenkiller: 1 out of 10: A woman on the run from her controlling boyfriend hides out in a cabin with a friend. But local girls are disappearing and they could be next.
The Good: Well it made for a surprisingly well done Rifftrax track. Also, it gave an acting start to Michael Shamus Wiles who went on to become a solid working actor (He, like everyone else, is awful in this film.)
The Bad: Good lord where to start. Do you like to watch woman talk on the phone? Do like endless discussions about nothing? How about panning shots of an unremarkable lake? Scenes that go on a least a minute after they were supposed to?
There is no mystery to who the killer is. The killer is one of the five characters in the movie. He has no motivation, no one-liners, no hockey mask or hook arm. Just a bro with a few screws loose. There is also no terror, suspense, or horror to be found. Well except for the realization that there are forty minutes to go and the characters are taking yet another nap.
The Ugly: Why do we watch slasher films? Is it to see two women discuss their relationship problems in front of wood paneling? Or is it for the ye olde sex and violence. Well, I hope you're a fan of the former. The only nudity is an accidental flash from lead Stacy Logan clearly caused by the full-screen transfer and the violence is both bloodless and incompetent.
In Conclusion: I thought The Final Terror was the nadir of eighties slasher films but Terror at Tenkiller is in a whole other category. It is like one of those seventies search for Bigfoot films where they spend seventy minutes in a swamp and never actually find Bigfoot.
