Uppercut Man

Imagine every cliché in every boxing movie ever made. Now, splice them together and you end up with this foreign curiosity. You have the young contender who has to overcome the odds to get the title, the wise old trainer who may as well have I WILL DIE BEFORE THE END tattooed on his bonce, the sleazy promoter with the dodgy moustache and his constant entourage of hired goons in business suits, and the innocent girlfriend destined to be kidnapped and held for ransom on the outcome of the final fight. It's like colour by numbers: each element is present and correct, and ready to be filled in by the unimaginative script writer.

The ringside parts are not actually that bad, with some vaguely convincing slugging and crowd participation going on. It's in the more dramatic moments that 'The Opponent' falls flat on its face. Daniel Greene may have a great muscular physique, but he cannot act his way out of a paper bag. His attempts at thespianism are laughable, and his romantic scenes with newcomer Keely Shayne Smith are particularly embarrassing. I'd rank him several notches below Ar-nulled on the charisma stakes too. (Wow, that's harsh) The rest of the cast do nothing to elevate themselves out of their stereotypical roles either. That's it, just take the money and run fellas!! No-one will ever know..

3/10 all the way. However, the video's box gets a 7, mainly it has a still image of the only nude scene in the film (Yes, I know I'm a perve). This would be the only reason for me to keep this hunk of junk. On second thoughts though, where did I put that photocopier...?