Planet of the Babes

Fans of Jim Powers' classic "Perverted Stories" series will enjoy this feature-length spoof of the original "Planet of the Apes". Rod Serling contributed to the original's screenplay, and Powers (as writer) provides amusing variations satirizing that innovative writer's combination of fantasy and social consciousness.

Steven St. Croix is in the Charlton Heston role, and manages not to overdo the temptation to make fun of him, except for reciting Powers' final line in the script, asking the kindly apes who help him to escape and present him with an assault rifle for protection: "By the way, are you a member of the NRA?".

That inevitable Powers silliness is carried throughout the movie, depicting a trio of astronauts (St. Croix, Mickey G and Nick East) who crash land on a distant planet 2000 years in the future. St. Croix's voice-over intro narration makes no sense, claiming travel at the speed of light, a mission lasting 6 months but actually lasting the equivalent of 2000 years due to the "high speed".

As expected they find naked humans in a primitive state on this world, and are captured by guys in gorilla suits (with clothing over that) and some ape leaders who speak English. St. Croix as Capt. Tyler can't speak because he's had throat surgery by the apes; East dies in the fight to capture them and Mickey G. Is given a lobotomy.

What ensues makes fun of the underlying themes dating back to the Pierre Boule novel, with Powers typically reducing everything to the most obvious. The apes consider one scientist (Cocknelius) heretical in his archeological digs to prove the Theory of Evolution, namely that apes descended from men. He and Dr. Vera (an ape lady who wears earrings and lipsticks besides her Halloween ape face mask, and is played by an otherwise voluptuous gonzo actress Melissa West) believe that Tyler has emerged from the Forbidden Zone where Cocknelius has found artifacts to prove his theory.

Cute scenes have St. Croix demonstrating to the friendly apes that his tale of space travel is possible, as their notion that flight is impossible defies his ability to throw a paper airplane he fashions from a sheet of paper. An ape tribunal presided over by Frank Bukkwyd among other unidentified actors covers various issues with Tyler, Cocknelius and Vera on the spot.

For sexual content, Asia Carrera as the heroine who St. Croix escapes with is utterly beautiful, and of course nude throughout. Bridgette Kerkove is miscast with her false eyelashes and very fake (and very big) boobs but certainly a treat for the fans, and other favorites of mine Gwen Summers, Flick Shagwell and Lola literally flesh out the cast.

One flub has Dr. Vera calling her colleague Cornelius instead of Cocknelius at one point, the flub left in the final print (Cornelius being the name of Roddy McDowall's character in the original). All the extras get a screen credit, but unfortunately the NonSex actors, like Bukkwyd and Melissa West, are not identified with their ape or gorilla roles, and they're unrecognizable under the masks and makeup.