Rating: 1/2 out of ****
Behold, what we have here is quite likely the worst slasher flick of the new millennium (but not the worst horror film, as we can't forget Legion of the Dead). The unimaginatively titled Slash is a new display in complete and total incompetence, and it's about as poorly made as films get.
After dispensing with an obligatory black-and-white prologue, the film makes a quick segue to two teenagers (apparently a couple)driving to a party in the middle of nowhere. Showing off its ineptness from the start, the movie gets into its first stalk-and-slash sequence when the couple in the car swerve off the road to avoid hitting a CGI cow! They crash into a cornfield, with the girl seemingly unconscious and the boyfriend seeing this as an opportune moment to feel her up. Turns out she's faking unconsciousness, and is a lot less angry than one would think she ought to be for her boyfriend showing more concern for her boobs than her well-being.
Anyway, the boyfriend is quickly dispatched by a masked killer with a scythe, so the chick quickly runs to the nearest house, this whole chase accompanied by annoying pop rock music. She hides in a nearby barn, and proves to have nothing in the way of peripheral vision as she fails to notice the killer being right in front of her! The whole scene caps off with her begging for her life as he very slowly approaches her. For crying out loud, why not just run? And the sad part of it all is that despite how terrible this opening is, it boasts the only nice thing I can say about the movie; the chick being chased is pretty hot.
The rest of the movie focuses on a rock band, whose lead singer is called to the very same farm in the opening scene because his aunt's passed away. He hasn't seen his father (Steve Railsback) in fifteen years, so one can expect their reunion to be a little awkward. The rest of the band (one of whom brings his groupie, who's a tarot card reader, no less!) also tags along, doing little things like playing trivia games over how famous singers passed away to entertain themselves. No points for guessing the band will likely serve as fodder for the scythe-wielding killer.
The cast that composes the band is likely the most obnoxious group of protagonists ever assembled in a slasher. Among the lot of them, there's not a single redeemable factor to be found; they're loud, impatient, disrespectful at every turn (especially the token black guy), and they don't even seem to get along as a group, something you'd think would be vital in a rock band.
Director Neal Sundstrom is horribly incompetent in staging and filming scares, suspense, or humor. He gives certain scenes a strange color composition, sometimes desaturating the picture for no discernible reason. Any time the stalk-and-slash scenes look like they might just pay off, all the murders take place off-screen and are even sometimes filmed with annoyingly choppy slow motion. Sundstrom's idea of atmosphere is covering the locations with lots of fog, but all that does is give the impression we're watching a stage play.
The movie actually attempts to build some sort of mystery in regards to the identity of the killer by delivering obvious red herrings, but when the killer is later revealed, he's not even unmasked. The climax is moronic, with a few of the survivors deciding to hide themselves in a cellar that was revealed earlier to them to be the killer's hideout. The lead character also formulates a plan involving a prop knife, even though he had no way of knowing the weapon was a prop (to add further insult, the killer himself should have known it was a prop).
No question about it, Slash is a terrible movie at every turn. It takes a mildly promising slasher concept-which I hear was utilized to much better effect in Scarecrows-and comes up incredibly short in all aspects. I heard this was a South African production, which does help explain some of the cast trying to cover up their accents, but it only proves that filmmakers overseas take too much inspiration from America's own cheap and awful low-budget slashers.
