2003 MTV Movie Awards

Andy Serkis: I would like to say a big thank you to all the MTV fans, to all the Lord of the Rings fans, and to everybody who worked on Gollum. It's a complete marriage of skills...

Gollum: [Gollum suddenly appears and snatches the MTV award trophy out of Andy Serkis's hands] You're a liar, and a thief! It's mine! *I* won it! It was me! We only won because of *me*!

Sméagol: [hugging the trophy; cute-faced] And me. MTV is my friend. My friend...

Gollum: You don't have any friends! Nobody likes you!

Sméagol: [Smeagol begins to blubber and then suddenly perks up]

Sméagol: Dobby likes me!

Gollum: [disgusted] Dobby? Dobby's a fucking fag!

Andy Serkis: [sternly] That's enough, Gollum.

Gollum: Piss off, Serkis! You stupid fat woofish fucking turd!

Andy Serkis: I'm... I'm not fat.

Gollum: [pointing at Andy Serkis, the audience, etc] We're not gonna thank anyone, no no! Not you, not MTV, and not those pixel pushing pindicks at Weta Digital! And Peter Jackson, my precious, who do you think you are, you fucking hack?

Gollum: [waves dismissively at the audience, and gives quickly flips them off with the finger; the audience laughs in response] *Shame* on you! Shame on you! Go fuck yourself!

Sméagol: [covering one of his ears with his hand as he continues to hold the trophy; whimpers] Not listening. Not listening.

Gollum: Frankly, nothing can compensate for the long hours and low pay and miserable experience we've had making this fucking movie. And if you think a shitty little tub of gold popcorn is gonna remotely make up for everything *we've* suffered, you're sadly fucking *mistaken*!

[shouts angrily]

Gollum: You're all bastards! MTV *sucks*! *We hates you all*!

Sméagol: [smiles at the camera] Good night!

Sméagol: [Smeagol/Gollum leaves; Andy Serkis looks shocked and embarrassed as the audience applauses]