Ultimate Poker Babes

Earlier this year I locked eyes on a piece of dubious material calling itself 'Strip Poker Invitational' that tried to strike a balance between taking the actual game seriously and it's female cheesecake. 'Ultimate Poker Babes' is in the same realm and I know these sorts of titles have their fans, but I can honestly say UPB doesn't improve much on the formula. At over 90 mins there's more chances to ogle the ladies also lots of dead air, wasted time.

Inside a Hollywood club seven ladies (Eva Simone, Rachel Elizabeth, Jasmine, Isabel, Sandy, Carmen Luvana, Nicole Oring) get intro'ed. Each with eight pieces of clothing worn, eight poker chips represent a piece they can bet. In their modified game they call "Sexy Hold 'Em" there's a one bet ante preflop and the ladies can check, fold or call bets (doesn't have to be the same piece) after the flop and each street. Each also have a "Strip or Dare" button which they can use to voluntarily lose a piece of clothing (um why?) or perform a dare. The winner is the one left with clothes and gets 5k.

A live audience is supposed to provide energy, but didn't do much for me. Ditto two useless hosts and an obviously inexperienced dealer. They nail some of the basics like hole card cams, graphic overlays telling you everyone's cards and the cast of women are good looking. The removal of clothes happens via a stage nearby and the camera work isn't bad with some nice closeups of boobs, butts.

Any worries I had about the quality of poker was silenced when two pair beat a wheel straight at showdown. Ok, fine, but what about nudity? It takes 45 mins to reach the first topless lady and in a "wtf" moment she loses her panties only to have another pair on underneath. Huh? This goes for all of them too. 'Ultimate Poker Babes' is fairly tame, the betting format super simple as you wait for nudity and try not to die from boredom (102 mins).