Ever seen Sharktopus? Well, clearly somebody got the idea to create another super-cheesy hybrid monster movie that was a poorly made as 99% of everything the sci-fi channel churns out.
On a Hawaiian island, a greedy scientist named Lovegrove (Michael Madsen) seeks out eggs belonging to a mated pair of the titular monsters that are half Pirahna and half Anaconda, despite the fact neither species is indigenous to Hawaii. Meanwhile, a B-movie film crew shoot a slasher film in the jungle while a group of mercenaries prowl the island looking for people to ransom or any other illegal activity they can profit from. All the while, the titular creatures begin hunting them all down, turning the island into a bloodbath as the survivors try to escape.
As expected, this is his is just another run of the mill budget monster movie. Everything is bad. The Pihrannaconda designs are a bit goofy looking and are animated with cheap, low-quality CGI. Most of the characters are unsympathetic and forgettable because they're only onscreen for about three minutes tops as they wander off aimlessly into the jungle like idiots and then getting chomped down.
Even for a sci-fi original movie, this is a very cheap flick. The crew must have blown most of the budget hiring Michael Madsen because the effects are pathetic. The victims are instantly turned into blood clouds by the monsters because they couldn't be bothered to make half-decent death scenes with body parts., the protagonists take off in a car that's completely undamaged despite having just being in a shootout, and as their driving down the road, they're freaking out as if their being chased despite the titular monsters obviously not behind them.
With the exception of Michael Madsen, none of the cast members are notably, mostly consisting of curvy women that the monsters enjoy the taste of and look as though they spent more time modelling or in adult films than actual movies. And speaking of which, Madsen seems humiliated to be starring in this and doesn't even try as he delivers his lines in a dull, raspy, murmur like he's reading a pamphlet. There's even this super cheesy rockabilly song "P" that sounds like something in a cartoon.
The only bright side to this film that I can find are the admittingly beautiful shots of the Hawaiian cliffs, valleys, and jungles. Plus, the monsters win in the end and apparently kill everyone.
Overall, this movie was stupid, cheap, poorly made, and embarrassing to watch, so don't even bother watching it for free.
