La passion de Dodin Bouffant

I am, I admit, a Crocodile Dundee cook - you can live on it, but it tastes like s*** Nevertheless, I revere those who are masters in the gastronomic arts.

Set in the 1870's, this film is a hymn to the pleasures of the table. The camera lingers lovingly over every pot and pan, every ingredient, every procedure, to the extent that it would have been wrong for the film to have been in any language but French. Anyone who can watch this film without salivating has no soul.

The plot is secondary to the food. Dodin (Benoit Magimel) is an expert, though amateur cook, whose hobby is hosting dinner-parties for a group of friends. For twenty years, Dodin has employed Eugenie (Juliette Binoche) as his cook, though she's far more than that. They sleep together, though she repeatedly declines his offers of marriage. Both performances are nigh-on perfect. There's also a young girl, the daughter of a neighbour, who has superlative taste-buds, and who wants to be taken on as an apprentice.

There's a bit more plot than that, including a comic dig at those who equate excess with excellence, but everything is subordinate to cooking and eating - and the actors do actually eat the food. One thing that grates with me is films where people don't actually eat the food in front of them.

I left the cinema hungry, and wishing that I had the patience and the dedication (and the time) to cook like that.

Oh, and though I grudgingly accept that, with the possible exception of the Chinese, the French are the finest cooks on Earth, I draw the line at ortolan.