Gene Siskel - Himself: [reviewing "Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy"] I think this is very funny stuff. "Brain Candy" will appeal to young moviegoers who are fans of "Kids in the Hall". I've seen them a couple of times on late night TV, and I often thought they only seem good by comparison with the recent "Saturday Night Live" troupes. But in "Brain Candy", they're funnier than they've ever been on TV. And I recommend this picture as kind of a midnight show cult picture, which I suspect it's destined to become.
Roger Ebert - Himself: Boy, are we apart on THIS one. I did not laugh ONCE.
Gene Siskel - Himself: Oh... y'know...
Roger Ebert - Himself: I thought this movie was AWFUL!
Gene Siskel - Himself: Oh no, Roger...
Roger Ebert - Himself: Dreadful! Terrible!
Gene Siskel - Himself: No.
Roger Ebert - Himself: Stupid! Idiotic! Unfunny! Labored! Forced!
Gene Siskel - Himself: [concerned tone] Oh, Roger! Roger!
Roger Ebert - Himself: Painful!
Gene Siskel - Himself: Roger, this is...
Roger Ebert - Himself: Bad!
Gene Siskel - Himself: What happened to your sense of humor?
Roger Ebert - Himself: I GOT my sense of humor!
Gene Siskel - Himself: Oh.
Roger Ebert - Himself: That was what- my sense of humor was STARVING for a laugh as I looked at this movie.
Gene Siskel - Himself: Oh no, Roger, first of all, you, the drag stuff was funny.
Roger Ebert - Himself: So what?
Gene Siskel - Himself: What do you mean, so what? If it's funny...
Roger Ebert - Himself: They're in drag. Why is it funny?
Gene Siskel - Himself: No no...
Roger Ebert - Himself: Why is it funny that they're in drag?
Gene Siskel - Himself: It's not funny that they're IN drag...
Roger Ebert - Himself: No no no, they're not...
Gene Siskel - Himself: ...I've knocked knocked pictures where people have been in drag when they're not funny...
Roger Ebert - Himself: No no no, they're in drag, and they're not funny.
Gene Siskel - Himself: ...I'm saying, obviously, they're laughing- you didn't get the stuff about the drug and product...
Roger Ebert - Himself: Oh, I caught on. I caught on.
Gene Siskel - Himself: What happened, Roger?
Roger Ebert - Himself: It's just, we're in different universes, here. Can't talk about it. Can't talk about it. It's not funny, I didn't laugh once.
Gene Siskel - Himself: We get PAID to talk about it, Roger.
Roger Ebert - Himself: Okay.
Gene Siskel - Himself: Let's talk about it.
Roger Ebert - Himself: Tell me one funny moment in the movie.
Gene Siskel - Himself: There are DOZENS of funny moments. Every time...
Roger Ebert - Himself: Mm-hmm. Just choose one.
Gene Siskel - Himself: Every single time... I laughed throughout the picture. I laughed throughout the picture.
Roger Ebert - Himself: Okay. Well, I'm happy for you.
Gene Siskel - Himself: No no no, but... well, that's, at least that's a start. Roger... will you look at this picture again?
Roger Ebert - Himself: Sure I will! I'd be happy to. Sometime, maybe, in the 21st century.