Kinky Secrets of the Suburbs

Very poorly written and directed (both uncredited), this Brazzers four-parter is so bad that in several scenes the music is turned up loud to drown out the dialogue. For shame!

Codi Vore, whose "comical" overacting style has doomed her to the world of gonzo, plays an unscrupulous TV reporter whose show is called Hometown Crush, though in a couple of the episodes the name Morning Wood is also flashed. She's reporting with the aid of some "vigilante paparazzi" on the illicit goings-on in the small town, which supposedly gives this junker a story. It makes no sense and is arbitrarily contradicted en route to a very phony (and confusing) ending.

What we see is lots of cheating. Cherie DeVille plays big (as in BBC) Jax Slayher's girlfriend who has moved in with him and his slu*ty daughter Maya Farrell. Maya seduces Cherie in their laundry room and it's as fake and phony a scene as can be, only to be topped by future nonsense.

Among the most poorly directed scenes has Joshua Lewis making love to his girlfriend Lily Lou (an exhibitionist, stripping and posing nude at her upstairs window for folks to see) during a poker game with neighbors Jax Slayer and Mick Blue -Josh looks way too young to be hanging out with these guys. Mick leaves, but doesn't cash in his chips, and suddenly Lily stops making love to Josh and seduces a bewildered Jax instead, claiming that Jax must get used to her having lots of men. He sits there even more bewildered to make this a cuckold scene and it ends with Mick secretly photographing them, apparently a smug one of the paparazzi! I was even more bewildered than the male characters on screen.

Another stupid segment has cute little Lulu Chu throwing a party, with a couple of her cute girl friends showing up for softcore lesbian sex (they don't get screen credits) and then Mick arriving to service Lulu gonzo style. Supposedly this is presented as an orgy, which it isn't.

Finally an asinine scene has Codi showing up with her uncredited cameraman and ending up in a three-way with Cherie and Mick. Their threesome emphasizes anal sex with Codi even donning a strap-on dildo out of nowhere to facilitate double penetration of Cherie, and they're all caught by Maya for a really stupid story ending. The Brazzers pornographers obviously assumed their loyal audience is composed of idiots who want to see all-sex pretending to be traditional storytelling with sex, and ignoring what meager story is there. I'm guessing Steve Bannon has given up making lousy right-wing movies and turned his addled mind to shooting porn anonymously for Brazzers.