They might be rabid horror fans, but the Soska sisters were a poor choice for directors of the first-ever remake of a David Cronenberg movie. Cronenberg is a true innovator of horror, having directed more than a few genuine classics; the Soska Sisters, (or 'Twisted Twins', as they like to market themselves) have one decent film to their name(s) - American Mary - the bulk of their output ranging from the mediocre (slasher sequel See No Evil 2) to the downright awful (Tarantino inspired exploitation trash Dead Hooker In A Trunk). Rabid is possibly their worst film yet.
Set in the world of high fashion, Rabid 2019's central character is Rose (Laura Vandervoort), an aspiring designer hoping to get her work noticed by her boss, Günter (Mackenzie Gray). One night, while leaving an event, Rose is involved in an accident that leaves her face horribly disfigured; however, after volunteering for revolutionary stem cell treatment, Rose's natural beauty is restored, and better still, Günter chooses her designs for his latest show. Life would be perfect if it wasn't for Rose's strange hallucinations, her newfound hunger for blood, and the vicious tentacle that lives in her armpit.
Clumsy direction, gimmicky editing, an overlong running time, obnoxious characters, a ham-fisted tribute to Cronenberg's Dead Ringers, and weak make-up effects all contribute to a hellish viewing experience, but what made this film really unbearable for me were the fashionistas and the models, all of whom could have come straight out of cult comedy Zoolander (or worse still, Zoolander 2). If I thought for a minute that the Soskas were going for giggles, then I would probably think better of the film, but I don't think this is the case: any laughs seem to be purely unintentional. Günter is an embarrassingly bad caricature -- Will Ferrell's Mugatu is positively normal by comparison -- and the scene where Rose slashes at a dress with scissors to realise her boss's vision would be genius if this were a satire. But it's not.
I honestly think that the Soska's believe their own hype, but as the film descends into asinine zombie territory, it becomes clearer and clearer that the twins have bitten off way more than they can chew. The final scene, in which Rose discovers the true horror of her condition, is let down by more terrible make-up effects and the directors' misguided belief that they have crafted a truly shocking movie. The only thing that is shocking about this film is that it got made in the first place.
