Sweet Things

David Stanley's sort-of tribute to chocolate, as a fetish, is pretty awful, though loyalists to this most eccentric pornographer may get some perverse enjoyment out of it. He is one would-be cult who would be better off left forgotten, as the pretentiousness of his work is self-defeating.

When not making fun of his own Adult industry, being obsessive about things chocolate, or waxing philosophical in the most cliched ways, Stanley has Vivid contract star Raylene suffering through a succession of overdone scenes, all about marriage. We get two, count 'em, two wedding ceremonies that merely serve as excuses for "sex with woman in wedding gown or veil" fetishism, one of porn's least interesting kinks. And of course David casts his favorite player Randy Spears so both of them can get off on a "cum on her feet" money shot.

Tying the nonsense together is a recurring scene in good old Tony Tedeschi's bake shop, where he waxe philosophical and keeps giving Raylene (and the hapless viewer out there in Video Land) the benefit of his dubious knowledge about both trivia and the human condition.

As usual, Stanley's scatter-brained approach to screenwriting and love of the non sequitur is a turn-off. We get as loving chocolate syrup spread all over the lady's skin scene featuring Paige Sinclair and TJ Cummings, which turns out to be strictly soft-core, evidence that Vivid let Stanley do pretty much whatever he felt like.

Spears is terrible in his intro scene as a nerd, then returns for a flashback as a stud dressed like a pimp to abuse busty Taylor St. Claire as a willing sub (with black humor ending this scene that mocks the sexual practice that killed Robin Williams no less a decade later), and then returns again as Raylene's unlikely surprise groom.

Opening scene has Ray humping Jason McCain, who is insufferably mean to her afterwards. Overstressed his deadly allergy to chocolate, a red herring Stanley gladly throws into the mix just to send an attentive observer like myself down a blind alley.

Tedeschi is fond of introducing flashbacks, including a most cryptic one limning his own marriage. Key subplot involves local porn star Lilly (played by Venus) who is a regular customer at Tony's shop. We get to see her shooting a porn film and find out the inside stuff about actresses like her who specialize in anal sex scenes, while Stanley can't resist mocking (without showing it) yet another fetish, as she is famed for coprophagy action, as evidenced by her reading a script (credited not to Stanley but to one "Holly Schmear") titled "Shit Sandwich #3".