Cruel Horizon

Hey look, it must have really sucked to be a boat person cast adrift after the fall of Saigon. That much we don't need to debate, and CRUEL HORIZON does a decent job of making the hell those poor people faced look pretty darn dismal. First they get stuck on the worst boat in Cam Ranh Bay Harbor, then they have to trade a wristwatch for some drinking water, there is a fight over a raw fish, and nobody has anyplace to sleep.

That's all before the pirates show up and toss everybody except the hot chicks overboard. The people hit the water and spontaneously die without a school of pirhanas or giant sharks to be had anywhere. I knew when I saw these pirates that here were some guys who knew how to have fun, and they promptly separate out the good looking women, which makes sense really. All the hot chicks are taken to an island where the pirates rape them, murder whoever else was left in a vicious bloodbath, and set off for the corrupt monastery to sell them all into slavery as prostitutes. All I could think was man, that sucks.

Worthy topic here for exploration, but fortunately or not the plot is about something else. It's about an American who manages to leave the girl with the most amazing breasts in all of Vietnam behind while being evacuated just before the communists roll their tanks into Saigon. And in the film's only bit of genuine comedy shouts "I'LL BE BACK FOR YOU." Played by Jessie Elmido, I mention that she has great breasts because the movie shows them to us repeatedly, and if you ask me the scenes between the topless shots are all filler material.

The rest of the movie follows otherwise capable lead Bruce Baron as he sulks around Thailand with his hands in his pockets looking for Vietnamese girls. He visits many a brothel without bothering to tell anyone that he is looking for a specific girl, and for a specific reason. Rule #1 when trying to find somebody: Tell your contacts who you are looking for, and why. Could save you a few misunderstandings, but then again if he had we wouldn't have been witness to so much squalor & human misery.

Which is what the film is really about, I guess. How cruel, rotten, sleazy, and unfair the world can be. Which again is a worthy topic to explore, though if you ask me REPO MAN did a better job & managed to do so with wit and style. CRUEL HORIZON packs the subtlety, charm, artistry, and pacing of a dish detergent commercial. The movie even ends with text informing us that the barbaric pirates are still at it, in case we were wondering if the film managed to accomplish anything. The answer is no, we weren't, we were too busy thinking about those breasts.

Along the way we get to meet big fat Horst (Jan de Bruyne), a German tourist who has gone to Thailand to get laid. Horst is big, fat, loud, sweaty, gross, repulsive, and obnoxious, which is all we need to know about him. Then there's Bruce's drug dealing buddy (François Beukelaers) in the film's John Hurt role, or maybe it's a Lance Henrickson role. I'm not sure if we are supposed to think kindly of this trio partaking in the vice trades of Asia which fund the human misery the movie documents. And to make matters even more confusing they get to be heroes in the big action finish, suggesting that crime & corruption may indeed pay after all. At least when it comes to Southeast Asia at any rate, which is a pretty darn cynical attitude if you ask me.

It also presents a bit of a puzzler too when contemplating who these westerners are in relation to the world they all seem to be exploiting. They have nothing of benefit to offer the people of Asia; one guy just wants his drug money, the fat guy just wants to get wasted & feel up all the underage bar girls, and Bruce just wants to bring his girlfriend back home so he can have sex with her someplace that has hot running water. Which forces the question of just HOW he managed to forget her back in Saigon in the first place. I can see forgetting your toothbrush or a book to read on the plane, but the girl with the best tits in all of Vietnam? C'mon.

CRUEL HORIZON was made by a Belgian director named Guy Lee Thys who may have been thinking of THE KILLING FIELDS, and he may not. It's hard to tell even though the two films have remarkably similar story arcs. I have no problem with the low budget staging of the film, the acting is actually pretty decent with some offbeat supporting characters, Bruce comes to life at the end when he finally gets to take his hands out of his pockets & show why he got lead roles in all those Ninja flicks, the musical score isn't half bad, and the opening shower scene with Marilyn Bautista's enjoyably naked body was a very welcome kickoff tease.

I think the problem is that the film was too earnest, too serious, too dour and methodical in telling its story to be anything but a bizarre freak show. There's a rip-roaring bloody nudity filled exploitation film under it all the messaging struggling to get out and resulting in some over the top scenes which are far more graphic, grim, and sleazy than anything the movie had the right to confront us with, though those scenes are the only real reason to bother seeing it. You know your message movie is in trouble when your villains are the only ones on board who know how to have a good time.

4/10, but it does have amazing breasts.