Criminal Passion

Which is the only reason it gets two stars and not one. Forget the story, the plot, the characters, etc...

Joan stars as a beautiful cop (could she star as anything that isn't beautiful), because we all know that really hot men and women become civil servants pulling down 50K a year, right? But hey! Don't sweat it! We got Joan gearing down, and that's all we need.

How she wasn't nominated for an Oscar is beyond me. Let's face it, she does some of her best work when she puts on a shirt to answer the door! I won't even bother telling you what it's about, other than to say this is right up there with such classics as "Hard Ticket to Hawaii", "Busty Coeds v. Lusty Cheerleaders", and "Busty cops." I saw this one night when I couldn't sleep on Cinemax at 3 in the morning. My insomnia was cured,because as bad as this was, it was like a train wreck: you shouldn't stare but you can't help it.

Avoid this at all costs.