Kiss & Tell

Imaginative but poorly written film noir style farce about Los Angeles detectives attempting to solve murders with multiple references to small mammals in the family "Leporidae" of the order "Lagomorpha" (insert "rabbits" here). It's not "Brewster McCloud" or the Coen Brothers, but it would loosely fit into their genre or at least it appears to have been so intended. Unfortunately the farce qualities fall victim to the flat cheapness of its "Legend of Billie Jean" (1985) production style.

The editing is perhaps the worst you will ever find although that could simply be a reflection of the limitations of the footage the editor had to assemble.

My guess is that the Arquette family talked someone into giving them $300,000 in exchange for being allowed close access to an assortment of hot actresses during the filming. The actresses appear to have been sedated for this purpose, drifting between the producer's trailer and the filming like a bunch of freshman girls who have been sampling the roofie-laced punch at their first fraternity party. I doubt if the cast was paid as nobody takes off their top.

A young Rose McGowan looks great in tight red leather pants (see poster) but appears on the verge of falling asleep at any moment. Heather Graham is equally sleepy but dully costumed. Pamela Gidley has a great time playing a character named Beta Carotene; she appears to be the only one fully awake, perhaps high on Vitamin A. The Arquettes listlessly interact with these three name actresses along with an assortment of aspiring actresses whose careers were obviously not advanced by this production.

Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.