In interviews, Odette Springer said that while working on the documentary, she realized the true nature of the business' alarming fascination. It was not until she was well into production that she realized her excursion into this "over-the-top world that Fellini couldn't have made up" was taking a personal toll. Compiling the clips, she found herself inexplicably obsessed with and aroused by the very images she considered violent and degrading. "First, I was irate at some of this stuff," she said. "I watched these movies and I hated them. But my body was telling me something different. I didn't realize I had such a shadow side to my own sexuality. I found myself getting turned on, and it horrified me." The clips also awakened long-suppressed memories of being sexually molested as a child, the pleasure of being touched coupled with the fear of being controlled by adults. This connection is made clear in the movie by home movie footage of her as a young girl cavorting about naked. The irony was not lost on Springer that movies she considered damaging helped her to grow and "become stronger." "That's a very confusing thing," she said. "This is the last place I would have looked for healing, believe me."
