Playboy Video Playmate Calendar 1990

Playboy video calendars had a simple formula, but also an ebb & flow. Every year wasn't necessarily like the last. I tell you this as '1990' is a huge disappointment sandwiched between good showings in '1989' and '1991'. Great Playmates get stuck here in tame and downright slow scenes. A real drag.

"January" is Fawna MacLaren - Jan 1989 - who I knew primarily from appearances in the 'Wet & Wild' series where she looked super hot. What I didn't know then but I do now - she obviously had her boobs done later on. They're much smaller here. Putting that aside her part goes back & forth between talking and the visuals don't make up for it. Jumping about on a simple set with only an open gown on, but suspect lighting. Rolling about in a bed, field of leaves, pool of water, feathers. Way too artsy which Playboy was fond of getting cared away with (5.5 mins). "February" is Laura Richmond - Sept 1988 - and continues the preference for talk, but now for story purposes. Man oh man ... this is rough. Topless in the desert with the blue light filter on max. It goes away and she gets down to fully nude which brings things back slightly and then more story, dialog (6 mins).

"March" is Tawnni Cable - Jun 1989 - who's usually a joy to see in a PB video, but her segment suffers the same problems. Tame, slow, wasting time, non nude sights. Looks hot in an orange bikini, but a cheerleader segment is a wash in more ways than one. The lighting is either too harsh or they go for the strobe effect. Why!? Her in & out of a black dress, leggings is a step up, but not by much. Artsy style going from color to B&W (4.5 mins). "April" is Laurie Wood - Mar 1989 - talking, rides a horse, drives a car, shoots photos all within the first minute. Decent nude shots follow soon after which aren't bad, but the color continues to be played with among other annoyances. A second scene of getting out of a business suit has a few shots you'll like, but also many pointless (4.5 mins).

"May" is Emily Arth - Jun 1988 - which focuses on her love for playing piano as she talks and odd shot of her naked is shown quickly. More talking leads to her topless at a racquetball court but also way more shots of the non-nude variety. Sights of her getting wet outdoors are solid, but of course it doesn't last very long. Ends on a montage in different places, clothes with little nudity (5.5 mins). "June" is Pia Reyes - Nov 1988 - caught in an awful robot scene that mixes dancing, wacky costumes & little nudity. Pia talking about her Filipino roots is much better. Quickly out of the dress you actually get to see her naked here and then later out in the desert. Shame it doesn't contain more spicy views of her though (6 mins).

"July" is Ava Fabian - Aug 1986 - strolling the streets of LA for an okay start. Her butt looks great in those skin tight jeans. A montage of her clothed in different settings wears out it's welcome though. There's a brief shot of her in a fur jacket with nothing on underneath which is hot. Then it's her naked on a bed before more artsy shots and little nudity in between (5.5 mins). "August" is Simone Eden - Feb 1989 - who gets to a start by listing her best mental attributes. Then intercut shots of her in a sports car topless driving along or stripping / posing out of a dress. Simone has a nice look, but stopping to enjoy it doesn't seem to be the priority. At a beach artsy elements continue, but there is also good shots of her sprawled out in the sand (6 mins).

"September" is Jennifer (Lyn) Jackson - Apr 1989 - talking about what she loves about men before getting out of a dress indoors though it doesn't last very long. Then it's wind, lighting patterns & shadows on a set that bored me to death. It eventually gives away to her getting wet outside a barn that allows you to see her in closeup, but it's slow city (5.5 mins). "October" is the Van Breeschooten twins (Karin and Mirjam) - Sept 1989 - and I'll give it credit for showing them topless almost right away. Then we venture to Europe for some fun, candid shots in public. You get to hear them speak including in their native language. Then it's in a house briefly nude in the kitchen, bathtub. A mix of casual footage is thrown onto the end randomly to pad time (6 mins).

"November" is Shannon Long - Oct 1988 - an Australian Playmate who's profile I saw as a "bonus" as part of Playboy's 'Girls Down Under' video. The footage jumps around a bit, but in the mix is nice views of her in a hot pink bikini at a beach (goes topless briefly). Underwater at a pool and then on a bed on a rainy night follows. Some delicious closeups of her butt, boobs here make this one of the few real joys (5.5 mins). "December" is Kimberly Conrad - Jan 1988, PMOTY 1989 - and as a former wife of Hef, it's all about Playboy history, the mansion, their relationship. I call this filter. There's simple bursts of her naked on a white set, but nothing killer. Bunch more filler and then Kim naked in an outdoor shower. More filler and then naked briefly to close things out in unspectacular fashion (9 mins).

'1990 Calendar' bumps up the runtime to 70 odd minutes, but it's sad. I was really looking forward to this title with the names involved and the longer it went on the more depressed I became. It shouldn't be a hard slough to get thru a video with naked ladies, but that's the case here. Easily among the weakest of the series.