Taste That Ass

I had recently watched an atrocious Lizzy Borden video titled "Rubber", solely devoted to hard-up Adult actresses reversing safe-sex porn tradition: they humped the studs bareback, then had the guys put on condoms to fill 'em up with spunk, only to have the girls drink it down. Laborious, boring and one of the dumbest concepts for a movie or video ever conceived (in a drunken stupor no doubt).

Well, this one's title is literally the subject matter: showing us girls who for pay pretend to be obsessed with licking objects (including fingers of course) just removed from their assholes, or liquids in a similar state. When one does a self- examination and ponders whether his or her life would have been better spent working on a cure for cancer than what one actually did to pass the time, imagine Lizzy's stock-taking given her accomplishments like this crap.

The tasters work hard for their money, and I suppose the viewer is supposed to admire their professionalism (or anti-professionalism depending upon how one views matters) in their work. I tend to take pity on the poor devils reduced to such antics -so close to the legendary job description of a geek (not the Best Buy employee but rather the carny clown who bites heads off live chickens) that one would think they'd hang up the phone when Lizzy's a-calling rather than be degraded.

One interesting inference I make: rather than standing miles above prostitution in the pecking order of society's ranking of jobs, one would have to place "Porn Actor and Actress" way below the World's Oldest Profession on the basis of this garbage, in that the sex worker does his or her or its thing and it's over with, while folks like Kami Andrews, Julie Night and Naudia Nyce have their Borden-directed embarrassing behavior recorded on video for posterity.

Lest ass-worship and sleaze be the only content of this video, Borden has Julie throw in a sideshow routine of yore -not unlike the geek - by finishing her ass- stuffing frenzy by swallowing a bunch of goldfish and then forcing herself to vomit them, hopefully unharmed, back into the goldfish bowl. My reaction to this oddball finale: Get the AVN and XBIZ awards ready - we have another winner! You can schedule Julie's acceptance right between Best BGG/TS IR Blindfolded Creampie Shot in Black & White and the ever-popular Best Pegger Scene by an Actress born in Lithuania.