Bill and Louise Foster move into the house of their dreams but it quickly becomes a nightmare (bwhahahaha!). Goop oozes out of cabinets and coffee pots, little earthquakes keep happening, things go bump in the night, kitchen chairs keep smacking Louise in the ass, and, worst of all, the Foster's cross keeps inverting itself over and over on their wall. "Must be the house settling," says brainiac Bill. Imagine THE AMITYVILLE HORROR filmed on a budget derived from soda can refunds and you will get this 60 minute horror film. Despite the short running time, this drags on for what seems like days and nothing remotely scary (or even unintentionally funny) happens. The dumb couple resolve stuff like green goo dripping from cabinets as "the problems you encounter with a new house." In the end, a psychic friend tells them to get out and they do when a person dressed in black wielding a knife shows up (it is never explained). To pad this out to feature length, the version I saw has an extra 15 minutes of a voodoo dance tacked onto the end. Directed by the amazingly named Bart La Rue, who sounds like he should be a friend of John Waters or Paul Bartel.
