Whatever Love Means

[In Camilla's flat afer their first date. Charles's detective is waiting in the car outside]

Camilla Parker-Bowles: How long does that chappie have to stay outside?

Prince Charles: As long as I'm in here.

Camilla Parker-Bowles: So what do we do - send out food and drink at regular intervals? Or do they bring in supplies from the Palace? I suppose you've had all the jokes before.

Prince Charles: Well, most people are a *little* more circumspect.

Camilla Parker-Bowles: Circumspect?

Prince Charles: One gets very used to being called "Sir".

Camilla Parker-Bowles: But you told me not to. Look, I *do* know about royal bloody protocol, Charles. Do you know who my grandmother was? My great grandmother, actually. She was your great great grandfather's mistress, Charles. And do you know what she said her job was? She said "My job is to curtsy to the King first... then jump into bed with him!"

Prince Charles: Did she really?

Camilla Parker-Bowles: Yes she did.

[Camilla looks longingly and seductively at Charles]

Prince Charles: Are you by any chance saying what I think you're saying?

Camilla Parker-Bowles: Put it this way, Charles. I'm buggered if I'm curtsying.