Cyrus

Making the film fest circus-circuit in 2010-11 is this sophomoric attempt at lashing out at...(surprise) mostly sophomore co-eds (with copious, bounteous, bouncing breasts thrown in for TIT-ilation, but hardly good measure-ments, or taste!).

The slogan should read: "Schocking, Schoddy Schlasher Schlock!" (but vibrantly filmed..."In Color", as they used to say in '60s television shows). And the claim that it is "Based on a True Story"? Really? What "true story" is that?

A promising if rather predictable start quickly degrades into bloody foot chase scenes with a Sweeney Todd-(un)inspired meat sales counter display (yuck-yuck!...biggest "Raccoon Steak" on a platter that I've ever seen though--that sucker must have come in at 400 lbs!).

Ten to fifteen minutes (and I'm being Gandhi-like in my generosity here) into this master(bater)piece, however, it it quickly degrades (if that is possible) into a tedious and almost-but-not-quite-nor-intentional comical (or is it insulting?) Karo syrup slopping. My friends and I lost interest and walked out at the 20 minute mark (following the "20 Minute Rule"--if the movie can't stand up in the first 20 minutes, it's likely that it won't redeem itself in the last 20 minutes).

If it would have been presented in a tongue-in-cheek "Cannibal"-style musical, it might possibly have been at least marginally entertaining (if not another copy of slasher parody/scary movie films). As it stands, however, I'd rather chew aluminum foil than sit through this "schtinker" to the very end!

SCHKIP IT!!!