That this was produced by Charles Band's Full Moon Films says much about what to expect - surely at least in terms of the level it's operating on, if not also overall quality. I'll say this much: 'It knows you're alone' is incredibly direct in terms of advancing the narrative. The cinematography and direction are both astoundingly plainspoken, almost glaring, and the (mostly absent, and mostly unnecessary) dialogue equally so. The writing actively rejects any sense of subtlety; from one moment to the next I could only voice a skeptical "what?" Meanwhile, mind the completely gratuitous nudity; I can't help but feel bad for star Brandy Dawley. It seems she was told to expose her breasts, but not her soul, as filmmaker Chris Alexander did not require any detectable acting from her at all. Indeed, if Dawley or co-star Ali Chappell have any skills, one would never know it from this title, as this is one of the most unconvincing, uninteresting movies I've ever made the mistake of watching.
All this is bad enough, but the sequence that comes just after the 20-minute mark is so outrageously garish and ill-considered that any chance of enjoying 'It knows you're alone' just totally evaporates. Would that I could say it were the only such instance, but it's not, even though it's probably the worst. The loose sense of narrative is fine in concept, yet rendered laughably sterile in its hopelessly blunt execution. Nothing of major importance meets with any success here; I suppose one could say the filming locations are nice, but that's pretty much the full extent of any possible praise. In literally every other regard, I can only pray for the sake of all those involved that they weren't really trying; if there was real effort put into this feature, that doesn't bode well for anyone.
It never ceases to amaze that every time I think I've found the worst film I've ever watched, or will watch, another competitor rears its head. 'It knows you're alone' is an agonizingly strong contender in that dubious contest. There are arguably a couple halfway decent ideas scattered somewhere in these 46 minutes, but they mean nothing in light of the overwhelming Awful that this represents. I can only offer a blanket warning: by whatever bad luck you stumble upon this title, you should not watch it, and you'll deeply regret it if you do. This is one of the most wretched, abysmal, valueless piles of rubbish that has ever been imagined, and every person to ever live should know that 'It knows you're alone' is to be left alone at the bottom of the lowest pit in hell.
