I wish I could vote this movie zero. I wish I could go a step further and vote it into the negatives. The only problem there would remain that there aren't enough negative numbers to properly describe how bad this movie is. It's not scary, it's not artsy, it's not smart. It just hates you.
This movie hates you.
Got epilepsy? Have problems with vertigo? Are you a human being with eyeballs? This movie hates you.
The 'found footage' aspect of it was done in the worst way possible. And this is a pretty terrible aspect to start with. But when someone in the background is saying fervently, "See this? Oh man oh...oh my jeez man look at this!" and all I'm seeing is black and some flashes of unbearably bright light right in my eyeballs while the camera spins drunkenly around so badly I'm wondering if they didn't strap it to a cat on Ecstasy, kick the poor beast into traffic and say "Cut, print, beautiful!"? AWFUL.
Jesus, even in the simple walking-around scenes I was praying that they'd hold the goddamn camera still for half a second so I could empty the puke bucket. I had to close my eyes for a good ten minutes and try to follow the narrative by sound cues just so I didn't hurl my sandwich onto the carpet.
Which brings up the near total lack of narrative. I'm not going to spoil anything, because there's nothing -to- spoil. Hack film-makers with hack writers cooked up a half-baked concept with a bunch of meaningless 'twists' that M. Night Shyamalanadingdong would be embarrassed by that don't mean anything and looks like barfed up cat food on film.
Fellow Horror fans...do NOT watch this movie. This movie hates you. Because that's the only conceivable excuse I can think of for it even to exist.
