The Da Vinci Load 2: Angels & Semen

Rather than parody another Dan Brown book "Angels & Demons", Jerome Tanner and Hustler Video foisted a semi-remake of Part 1, with cast shuffled and endless repetition of the stilted expository dialog that was bad enough the first time around. Some hard-working porn actresses (Aline, Denise K and star Nautica) are all this junker has to recommend it.

Watching the two features back to back was enlightening, as Tanner and his scripter Nelson X take liberties that likely play better if one has no exposure to Part 1. That picture ended with the pregnancy of the police detective played by Haley Paige, setting up a sequel with her a member of the anti-Catholic cult led by Prioress Angelina. Fellow cult member Dr. Nadia Saint was played poorly by Missy Monroe, and for "Semen" she is replaced by the wonderful Nautica Thorn, a wise move despite its lack of continuity.

The Paige character is gone completely, with Thorn as Dr. Saint doing her own civilian investigation of a murder (almost identical to the Part 1 set-up) and no police in sight. Back for a second helping is Evan Stone as a professor, pipe in hand, who recites endless drivel that mocks the elaborate conspiracy theories that made author Brown a wealthy hack, though not as wealthy as say Rowling for example.

Starting with a teaser first sex scene featuring Manuel Ferrara and Persia DeCarlo, that introduces a key prop called the Cryptex that stores all of Persia's anal research on a stupid-looking substitute for a butt plug, the non-story unfolds as the ancient anti-Catholic femme cult of Ejaculari are working on the creation of an anal G-spot. It falls to Stone in the finale to test out their theories on wonderful actress Aline, after Tanner keeps the viewer in suspense for over an hour on whether the promised backdoor action will be delivered.

Teaming up with Nautica on her search for the truth (or more realistically, search to get laid), is Danish actress Denice K, a wonderful, overlooked talent who impressed me immensely in Paul Thomas's forgotten B-picture "My Wife's Best Friend". Re-cast in new roles for the Part 2 are James Deen, his acting poor as usual (he even mispronounced his character's name "Tony Petkovich" as Tony Peskovich" in Part 1) playing Evan Stone's son (?!) who is nearly humped to death by a couple of nonentity Hustler girls Kissy Kapri and Naomi Cruz.

Steve Holmes, unrecognizable with long hair in Part 1 as a college kid who gave Missy Monroe a d.p. in tandem with Scott Nails, pops up this time as a hit-man basically playing the same role that Deen played first time around. If this makes any sense to you, you may enjoy listening to the gibberish Stone recites.