Wow...
Ranger Steve and his bizarre accent should have been a warning that this wasn't going to live up to the "Must Watch" billing this movie gives itself.
Firstly, our protagonists, Josh and Beth are easily the most toxic couple ever to share a screen. Sadly, neither one of them starts the movie as particularly likeable and both of them roll down hill from there. Clumsy exposition takes the place of believable character depiction as the writer seemed intent on reminding the viewer *EVERY THREE MINUTES* about Josh's cancer diagnosis. Nothing this pair do throughout comes even close to being understandable from the perspective of a regular, thinking human being. This pays off in the worst way imaginable at the conclusion, where I was left scratching my head about anyone's motivations. Also, Beths flip flopping between her American and Irish accents is distracting at best, mind numbing at worst.
The first two thirds of the runtime is a painfully slow trudge up a hill with this pair, where they complain at each other incessantly. I found myself hoping they might stumble upon a hungry grizzly bear who might put us all out of our misery. The third act finally remembers that this is meant to be a vampire movie and just drops them in to no apparent effect. Seriously, take the vampires out of this movie and it has zero impact on the plot other than taking away the painfully predictable post credits scene.
Feels like it was written by a high school child, but probably less entertaining that it would have been if it was.
Garbage. Avoid. Petition for its destruction.
