Sinbad and the War of the Furies

When "WWE's John Morrison" gets top billing for this film, there's only one way the film can go and that is downhill at alarming speed. You may be asking yourself "who the hell is John Morrison?" and you wouldn't be wrong for asking. He's a third tier pro-wrestler at the WWE which increasingly believes that it's pro-wrestlers can become A-list actors but for every success story like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Dave Bautista (Guardians of The Galaxy), Roddy Piper, or Jesse Ventura (Predator) you've got...ehhh....ten John Morrisons, the generic angry tough guy. In all fairness, he does a really good job at being a generic tough guy. He snarls. He growls. He grimaces. He flexes his muscles and jumps and kicks and punches and frightens bad guys. He does everything a generic action movie tough guy should do. It's just that, he's not a good actor at all. It's not entirely his fault. The dialogue in this movie sucks hardcore. It's terrible. It's like the Expendables meets Indiana Jones except without all the good actors, or the good writers, or the good budget, or the good studio, or the good director. IF you take away all those things, I mean, well I guess you've still got a movie, right? But hey, it also stars that one girl with that bit part from Thor: Dark World. The Asgardian Waitress, Chloe Farnworth. That's something right? No, no, it's not. You want my summary? Here it is: This movie is terrible. Absolutely terrible. The premise is stupid: Sinbad the modern adventurer. What? They couldn't get Attila The Hun, Wall Street Banker? Don't watch this unless you enjoy torturing yourself. However, even if you did, there are better ways to do so. May I suggest licking a hairless cat? I'd rather do that than watch this.