Divorzio all'americana

David Grieff: Well now, to the property settlement. I've prepared a list here of major items of community property with some suggestions as to how they may be distributed amongst the parties.

Richard Harmon: [looking at the list] Seems to be fair. Split right down the middle. The house to Barbara; the mortgage payments to me. The furnishings, colour TV and piano to Barbara; the monthly payments to me. The insurance benefits to Barbara; the premiums to me. The uranium in our uranium mine to Barbara...

David Grieff: Uranium mine?

Richard Harmon: And the shaft to me!