Orchidea selvaggia

Just kidding, I don't know what I'm talking about. You should see this movie if you like:

1) Sex

2) Nudity

3) Hot babes

4) Mickey Rourke

5) Carre Otis

6) Mickey Rourke and Carre Otis going at it for real

7) Perfume commercials

8) Directors trying to make their softcore porn look like art by filming everything sensually and in slow motion, so the film appears to be art-house and "visually stimulating"

9) Really, really, really bad dialogue

10) Lots of good banging and screwing without a plot

11) Mickey Rourke playing a total pimp (which is different than just Mickey Rourke - I mean, there's Mickey Rourke, and then there's Mickey Rourke the Pimp, which is even cooler).

And finally...

12) Hot female characters who wear glasses and carry around clipboards so the audience believes they are smart and successful businesswomen, when in fact they'd have a hard time calculating 1 + 1. (Also see: Alone in the Dark, Tara Reid's character; or Fantastic Four, Jessica Alba's.) Highly recommended to the appropriate demographic.

I could kill myself for buying it.