I just finished watching "Breaking the Waves" and am still not sure whether it was a good film or a strong piece of manipulation. Perhaps there is ultimately no difference.
Emily Watson was luminous and altogether convincing, and the camerawork didn't bother me in the slightest. On the contrary, it suited the story immensely - as did the deliberately washed-out palette. A brilliant invocation of a time and place.
However, the story left me feeling like I'd just watched someone kicking a puppy ... for several hours. I dislike the implication that such brutal and violent self-sacrifice can be justified by intense love, and to have this line wrapped up in a dewy religious shroud is a cop-out. It's like watching a documentary about the horrors of sideshow life - with plenty of explicit segments starring the freaks themselves. Allows an audience to moralize and yet be voyeurs at the same time.
Poor Bess was more than naive - whatever brain she was born with was utterly starved of oxygen by the narrow and restrictive community she was born into. I sympathized most with Dodo, who of them all loved Bess the most, and the least selfishly.
I find myself very angry after seeing "Breaking the Waves", which is why I cannot say that I disliked this film. Had I truly disliked it, my response would be less emotional.