I thought Halloween 3 was bad! Then I saw Plutonium baby. First of all, the tagline just doesn't work. He'll tell his mommy? HE HAS NO MOMMY TO TELL!! Secondly, the baby isn't even a baby - he's about eleven years old. The stupid teenagers that enter the scene serve the proper horror movie purpose - they're complete idiots. The cinematography is laughable. The kids are seemingly lost in the middle of the woods, but if you look carefully you can see a car go by them in the background. Are you kidding me? "We're lost!" "Vvvrrroooom." "What was that?" Absolutely terrible. Next, the pathetic storyline drags on for hours - literally. Just when you think the nauseating plot has finally finshed, it flashes forward ten years to start the - (I'm running out of fitting words) - grotesquely stupid story all over again with the "baby" as a grown-up. There's a dull sex scene that's probably the longest scene in the whole movie - next in line for longest is the aerobics scene, that's right, there's an aerobics scene. That's about all you need to know, except the worst script line I've ever heard: "don't mind the nuclear warning sign, put your beer in there anyway." The fact that whoever wrote this film actually thought they'd make a profit from it is the best part - it's just too much!! It's beyond those bad movies that are fun to laugh at, like Bloodfeast for example. No it's just plain bad. Not funny in a "this is supposed to scare us?" sort of way, but bad in a "they should use this video for torture" sort of way. Avoid this movie like you would avoid the Black Plague.
