Soccer Dog: European Cup

Directed by Sandy Tung (??), written by John E. Deaver who may or may not be a gynecologist in Richmond NY and starring Cockney geezer Nick Moran, what could be described as a steaming turd of a movie is in fact a brilliant spoof.

American kid goes to Scotland, befriends a stray mongrel and together they transform the fortunes of a local football team. Probably the greatest film commenting on the state of Scottish football that has ever been written.

I mean how can anyone take this film seriously. Take Nick Moran for example. Two reasons why he shouldn't have appeared in this film. 1)His Scottish accent is laughably poor and 2)He has the football skills that only an American could be impressed with.

Then there's the blatant stereotyping of Scots as haggis eating, kilt wearing, long haired, rotting teethed crap footballers. Now I've met a few Scots in my time and I can safely say that not all of them wear kilts.

Of course any film about Scotland worth it's salt needs to have some sort of battle against the English. So enter the Auld enemy on an open top double decker Routemaster bus that has driven all the way from London which is no doubt just 20 miles away in the eyes of your average American. And what would you call an English football team if you were an American director trying to provoke a reaction from English football fans with no sense of humour too? The London Bangers - Genius! Watch this film and enjoy. Laugh at the special effects of the dog dribbling the ball and cheer as Nick Moran makes a Christiano Ronaldo stepover look like he's hurdling a six foot fence.

Superb.