5 bambini & It

FIVE CHILDREN AND IT is the perfect way to trash the memory of the classic Edith Nesbit novel by turning it into something soulless, trivial, and trashy. Although the premise of the the film and the novel are the same, both veer off in very different directions and it has to be said that this bears little relation to the characters or events of the book's storyline.

Firstly, the setting has been changed to WW1 from the Crimean War; I'm not sure why, except maybe people don't know or care about the Crimean War these days. Instead of the likable, inventive children of the Nesbit story, we get a bunch of screamers, whiners, and - in the case of Freddie Highmore - oddly creepy kids and the stock fat cousin character who of course turns out to be evil. God knows what all that monster stuff in the basement laboratory is supposed to be about.

The famous Psammead, voiced by the irritating Eddie Izzard and animated via rubbishy CGI, is a far cry from the excellent puppet utilised in the old BBC TV series version of the tale. Elsewhere, we get horrible CGI dinosaurs, CGI flying people (to cash in on HARRY POTTER, of course), and dumb comedy in the form of fart and burp jokes. The director is so inexperienced he even uses cheesy slow motion in the sentimental interludes. Elsewhere, viewers are stuck watching the likes of Kenneth Branagh and Zoe Wanamaker mugging for all their worth. Stick with the BBC show!