Unearthed

This movie was playing at the Union Station cinema in Washington, at 7:30 on a Saturday night. The place should have been completely packed, but it was nearly empty. We soon learned why.

Unearthed has a generic, by-the-numbers plot crammed full of the same old tired horror-movie clichés. It had no direction to speak of. The camera work was amateurish at best, and the dialog nearly incoherent. The camera was pointing all over the place, providing an occasional glimpse of something like a face, a vehicle, or a building. Most scenes were too dark and cluttered to make out anything clearly.

Don't even imagine that this stuff belongs in the "so-bad-it's-good" category. Those movies at least have some originality, humor (even if it's unintentional), and other qualities that make them stand out. They are the kind of movies that people remember, whether they want to or not. Unearthed has nothing worth remembering. I can barely recall even one single scene; the only thing I can remember clearly is waiting for it to be over. It seemed to drag on for several hours or more.

Very soon, this thing will be dead, buried, and totally forgotten. May it rest in peace--FOREVER.